Nose Picking out of loneliness

Sitting on a bus in standstill traffic is moderately amusing, nosepicking aimless drivers in cars can be viewed frm a God-like perspective.
From my 10 feet from the ground, "air-conditioned for your comfort" perch I can sneak of people at their most vunerable; Trapped in rush hour, digging for gold.
As the poster says: Commuters sing in their Cars - Legends Sing on the Bus.
Maybe a verse of "The Wheels on the Bus" could make this a little more amusing.
I think not.
Some up ahead incidentt is slowing us down ,I hate to think of what it may be - an injured person in a car wreck, driving home in a hurry to be with a loved one?
But most likely someone was digging too deep in their nostrils and rear ended someone else

On The Road Again

As I write this I am on a bus - with free Wi Fi - awesomeness, apart from the fact that I can't seem to access Social Networking sites i.e Facebook, Twitter etc - I mean, waht's the point of free Wi Fi on a bus if you can't constantly fill the internet with your warblings from ANYWHERE!!??
So , from today onwards I will probably update this blog daily with bollocks because, quite simply - ther's not much else to do on a 1.5 hour long bus ride.

This morning is icy - say no more. I think my cat might be frozen to the deck outside - poor kitteh

Top 10 of 2008

Seeing as it's the 31st of December, what better time is there to name my top 10 films of 2008.
But first-

The Worst Film of 2008 - Twilight - So god awful that I nearly pooped my pant just so I could get out of there and have something better to do (cleaning my pants)



So, here goes

10:Speed Racer - Pure fun and a great family film. Sadly underrated

9: Tropic Thunder - Both Downey Jr and Tom Cruise were brilliant but it is also proof that Ben Stiller is talented - when he feels like it or he doesn't need to pay his mortgage

8: Burn After Reading - The Coens return to black comedy after the brilliant but disturbing N.C.F.O.M. Clooney and Pitt are great in their roles but Frances McDormand steals the show

7: Wall E - Pixar do it again, though not as good as 2007'S Ratatouille Wall E is cute, humourous and leaves us feeling guilty

6: Iron Man - "Oh yeah - I can fly" says it all really

5: Forgetting Sarah Marshall The funniest film I saw all year, so brutally truthful and at the same time ridiculous hamming by Russell Brand made this a winner. Great script and preformances - plus for the ladies: Penis shots (high five!)

4: The Painted Veil - Although this film has been around a while it was only released here this year. Beautiful cinematography (on location in China) and solid performances made this film a solid number 5.



3: Hellboy II The Golden Army - Director Guiilermo Del Toro fresh ofthe success of Pans Labyrinth brings back Big Red , bigger badder and better. The only director other than Peter jackson who could bring the balance of fantasy and reality to Middle Earth

2: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Having seen this film literally hours before I write this speaks of it's profound effect on the viewer. A truly wonderful story anchors you from the opening frame to its last lingering shot of an abandoned clock ticking backwards slowly. Alongside the story is performances from all leading cast members that are great. Pitt shows us that he is not just a pretty faced man with a powerful seed an an extremely hot missus - but an actor willing to go that extra mile to take the audience on a ride. Credit must go to the probably hundreds of digital artists who have again made leaps and bounds with motion capture etc to create the different age stages of Benjamin's life. Guided by the assured hand of director David Fincher, in what is probably his first movie that wasn't full of darkness and despair.

1: The Dark Knight - Superhero flick/Crime Drama/Greek Tragedy/Study of Human Duality or all of the above. The Best film of the year if not the last few years. Expectations were high - then reached fever pitch after the unfortunate passing of Heath Ledger who commands this film, even when he's not on camera you feel his Joker's lurking, tongue flicking presence. One of the Jokers final lines "It seems we are destined to do this forever" hinted at what was to come, but now sadly may not happen. Ledger aside, Christian Bale is by far the best Batman and overall it is Christopher Nolan's assured direction that made this an amazing film.

Its been a while

I havent posted for a while because I have been busy. I have however watched a lot of movies and one that sticks out as being THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME is Roland Emmerich's 10,00BC

What the fuck! this is cinematic sewage-- I cannot remember the last time I watched 90% of a dvd on fast forward and still managed to not care what was happening just to make sure I got my $8 of rental fees worth.

A movie so dul and uninspired that a voice over tells us the whole films plot- at the begining of the film! Actiong so atrocious it makes Shortland Street look good.
Avoid it at all costs.
On the other hand I did watch Eastern Promises wihich stars Viggo Morternsen adn Naomi Watts, the films ploit centres around the death of a prostitute and her now orphaned baby. All this is set in London Russian Mafia underground. Mortensen nails his Russian Badass and makes you empathise with his sadistic killer. This is not a film for the faint hearted, considering one of the major actioin set pieces (p.s THIS IS NOT AN ACTION FILM) is a knife fight with a completely naked Mortensen in a mens sauna.

Crime thriller fans will lap up the labyrinth plot - which is a tad easy to figure out. This film is also quite brief but gets you involved right from the start

8/10

Lazy Day

Well, yeseterday was lazy day. Once again it was raining the only thing I really did that was productive was write 6 pages of a screenplay and drink alot of tea.
Also - I don't know of it is productive but I managed to get through a few more DVD's
So here goes.

The Amityville Horror (1979)


I have never ever thought of wathcing this film but have heard alot about it over the years. My wife suggested we watch it. She is currently watching the remake (which I am pasing on)

The Amityville Horror" is a typical haunted house movie with the 'based on a true story' claim branded on it, which may be the largest reason for it's success. The film features young newlyweds who decide to buy a grand Old colonial house in Amityville,New York.
They are aware that a year earlier, the savage murder of an entire family took place in the house, but they try to push that aside and make the house their own.
After moving in, strange things begin to happen, and George (James Brolin) becomes increasingly violent with both Kathy and her children, and the evil spirits dwelling within the house begins to take over George's mind - driving him insane. The terrified family ends up fleeing their house after only spending twenty-eight days there.
"The Amityville Horror" is a slightly above-average (but really not by that much) haunted house film. I've heard people claim this film to be one of the horror greats, but in all honesty, I just didn't find this film to be anything quite so mind-blowing.
It isn't all bad though, it has some redeeming qualities. There is a handful of really spooky and memorable scenes and some nice cinematography and the score , while being a tad cliche is still scary in the requesite places.

The acting in the film is now in this day and age of Daniel Day Lewis' a bit silly to watch. James Brolin's performance becomes a little stupid during his "descent into madness" and is very clearly overacting in quite a large amount of the movie. Margot Kidder does this as well, shouting her lines quite often, but I liked her performance better. Rod Steiger plays the role of the priest rather well, probably turning in the best performance of the film.

Overall, "The Amityville Horror" has it's flaws. It's a decent haunted house film, and it's a "classic" by popularity. If the film wasn't supposedly based on actual events, I don't think that it would have received the hype or status that it did.

Super Bumper Movie Review

Yesterday I had mission - to sit on my arse and watch as many dvd's as I could. My attention span in the morning was a bit short so I went out, got some fresh air on my mountain bike, went to the video store - got my stash and came home.
The ADD was still in effect and the sun was out for the first time in weeks so I decided to some D.I.Y round my house for a few hours so I could truly earn some couch time.
So by 5 oclock it was time to sit, pizza was eaten and beers were consumed so here goes:

LEATHERHEADS

It took me a while to get into this movie, I much prefer Clooney doing comedy though so I really enjoyed his performance in this movie. I still don't how he can objectively direct his own performances but he does a fine job.

The story centres around the birth of professional football (or gridiron as we call it)in 1920's America with beautiful period production design really selling the time period.


This film has all the elements of a great comedy - a scandal, a romance, sport all begin to take shape in Clooney's ode to screwball comedy. Desperate to legitimize the sport he so loves, reckless Dodge Connelly (George Clooney) hatches a plan to bring college football superstar and American war hero Carter "The Bullet" Rutherford (John Krasinski) to his team of Duluth Bulldogs – as well as the crowd of thousands that will follow. Meanwhile, the Chicago Tribune assigns equally relentless reporter Lexie Littleton (Renee Zellweger) to uncover the truth behind The Bullet's wartime accomplishments and bring down his charade of heroism. Things get even more complicated when both Dodge and Carter fall for Lexie and the game of football must take a backseat to the game of love.

Clooney has all but nailed the performance of the male lead in the classic screwball comedy, however his supporters and the too-serious dilemmas detract from the presentation's overall mood. Clooney's wide-eyed, smooth-talking Dodge Connelly charms with his on-screen presence and go-getter charisma, but John Krasinski's Carter Rutherford rarely provides a worthy opponent. The prize, Renee Zellweger's (who for once doesn't squint her way through a film)Lexie Littleton,who tries too hard to be the fast-talking, hard-edged businesswoman, and then never becomes one worth winning. Her chemistry with Clooney is hit-or-miss, and George is clearly the victor in their exchanges. The minor characters provide a laugh or two but barely stand out, even Krasinki, who is dead pan brilliant in the US version of The Office tends to not quite know what to do half the time.

While Clooney may not be able to perfect the laughs and romance of the genre, he does do an excellent job in recreating the times. A jazzy, swinging score from Randy Newman complements and humorizes period events like prohibition raids, as well as the bar-room fights and on-field rivalries. The upbeat, piano-heavy tunes are a definite highlight and truly work well to accent the lighthearted atmosphere. Stock footage, sepia tones, and steady pans across still frames accentuate the feeling of watching a piece of history, and the costumes and set designs appear meticulously crafted.

Chronicling the advancement in professional football from the 1920's, Leatherheads attempts to re-imagine the fast-talking screwball comedies of the '30s - but with only partial success. The dialogue is inventive and amusingly brusque, but oftentimes the conversations are too abrupt. Falling back on waggish expressions and lengthy fistfights (in particular a very amusing bar fistfighy), Clooney's homage to classic comedies unfortunately has as many stale moments as engaging ones. Ultimately this fiml has a few failings but is definitely worht a look for fans of Clooney, screwball comedy or light sports entertainment.

SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES

Unlike the recent flock of fantasy epics including The Golden Compass and The Seeker, which conclude feeling wholly unsatisfactory due to an abrupt resolution that suggests further films in the series, The Spiderwick Chronicles easily stands alone as a complete story. With sensationally mirthful creature designs and likable human characters, topped with state-of-the-art special effects, The Spiderwick Chronicles is another big win for Paramount and a high bar for family films of 2008.

The moment the Grace family moves into the dilapidated Spiderwick Estate, strange things begin to happen. Jared (Freddie Highmore) is a curious, adventurous boy who quickly seeks out the hidden cob-web-covered remains of great great uncle Arthur Spiderwick's laboratory. He unleashes a mysterious force when he locates a field guide full of the secrets of the magical creatures that inhabit the forest surrounding the mansion. His twin brother Simon is calm and reserved and very much the intellectual one, but is rapidly drawn into the fantastical world of fairies and goblins. Older sister Mallory and their mom are harder to convince, but after the almighty and ruthless ogre leader Mulgarath (Nick Nolte) begins to attack the home, everyone must band together to combat the hordes of goblins and other creatures that lurk outside.

The Spiderwick Chronicles is, on the surface, an alluringly delightful fantasy that blends the very best of character designs, both human and CG, into a story that effortlessly engrosses without stumbling out of the realm of suspended disbelief. Everything within the story makes sense as it unfolds, and we don't question why certain things are feasible – because as the world of goblins and boggers is defined, we have no reason not to become completely immersed in the fantasy.

The pacing is fantastic for a family film, and doesn't fall into the three hour trap that The Lord of the Rings sets.

The children have more appeal and charismatic personalities than those of the Narnia kids, and the creatures are more lovable and waggish than those in Harry Potter. Each computer animated monstrosity and cuddly ally beautifully blend into the forested environment, and never reach a level of utter annoyance. The designs themselves are ingenious, with a mix of gelatinous abominations like Redcap, the angry henchman goblin, a furry old hamster-like man (Thimbletack, voiced by Martin Short) who speaks in rhyme, and a mighty griffin that soars above the picturesque clouds. Eloquently wispy faeries and an enormous horned ogre are also substantial parts of the Spiderwick mythology, and many other exciting creatures frequent this action-filled fairyland.

The Spiderwick Chronicles undeniably makes fantasy and magic fun. While a few scenes may scare young children, the film also manages not to be overly preachy, even with its many positive messages and abounding morals. With pleasing characters, family-friendly magical adventure and a mind-bogglingly fantastical world of faeries, goblins and ogres, The Spiderwick Chronicles is extraordinarily entertaining fantasy fun.

DEFINITELY MAYBE


For some people, the romantic comedy genre is there to be sneered at. It's a lower art form subscribed to by the uneducated masses, the same plot regurgitated through a word processor with names, dates and locations changed: ("Girl meets boy, she's feisty, he's snobbish, they don't see eye to eye - How oh how are they ever going to end up together by the end of the movie?"). Admittedly, I'm not the biggest advocate of the ol' romcom, but this film falls into the "watchable" category of romantic comedy. Of course it's phoney and sugar-coated. Of course it has no resemblance to real life -

For goodness' sake it's a romantic comedy! If it wasn't shallow and improbable it'd be called a "drama"!

Ryan Reynolds is a solid enough lead, with enough comic talent to keep things ticking over. Abigail Breslin is charming too. Kevin Kline seems to growing gracefully into more senior roles, and Rachel Weisz, Elizabeth Banks and Isla Fisher are all comfortable enough as Reynold's love interests.

The script isn't belly-laugh funny but it has it's moments, there's some good use of news footage from the time in which the story is set, and the plot ticks over nicely. There's also a bit of guessing for the audience too, and my bet is you'll stay to end if only to find out how it finishes.

So there it is: a better than average romantic comedy. Not weighty. Not cerebral. Not challenging. Just a mildly diverting story, about a nice bunch of nice looking people having a nice time and getting their nice little lives sorted out. Nicely.
That is to say this film is not meant to be "food for thought" it's just a snack.
Trust me, as a man that's been dragged to more than his fair share of romcoms, this one is by no means bad

VANTAGE POINT


A great idea ruined by this simply being loud, rushed and retarded.
Plus Matthew Fox still acts like he is on Lost.

My Top 10 Films by genre

Done by genre - and yes there is some genre bending going on.
These are, like most top 10 lists probably going to change

CRIME/THRILLER;
10: Training Day
9: Pulp Fiction
8: Goodfellas
7: The French Connection
6: L.A Confidential
5: The Godfather
4: Collateral
3: The Departed
2: Heat
1: The Godfather II

SCI FI
10: Gattaca
9: Predator
8: Revenge of the Sith
7:Alien
6: 2001
5: Star Wars
4: Terminator 2
3: Akira
2: Blade Runner
1: The Empire Strikes Back

ACTION/ADVENTURE:
10: Commando
9: Point Break
8: Bad Boys
7: Lethal Weapon
6; Transformers
5: Dr No
4; Rambo 4
3: The Bourne Supremacy
2: Die Hard
1: Raiders of the Lost Ark


FANTASY
10: Krull
9: Harry Potter and the Prisoners of Azkaban
8; King Kong (2005)
7: Conan
6: Masters of the Universe
5: The Dark Crystal
4: Fellowship of the Ring
3: The Never Ending Story
2: Labyrinth
1: The Return of the King

FAMILY
10: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
9: Speed Racer
8: Spirited Away
7: Ratatouille
6: Gremlins
5; Shrek
4: Toy Story
3: The Incredibles
2: The Goonies
1: E.T

COMIC BOOK
10: Superman Returns
9: The Incredible Hulk
8: X Men 2
7: Superman II
6: Batman Returns
5: Spiderman 2
4: American Splendour
3: Iron Man
2: Batman Begins
1: The Dark Knight

CLASSIC
10: The Big Sleep
9: The Odd Couple
8: The Man Who Knew too Much
7: Sunset Blvd
6: Some Like it Hot
5; On The Waterfront
4: Citizen Kane
3: Vertigo
2: Casablanca
1: Lawrence of Arabia

COMEDY
10: The Producers (1976)
9: Revenge of the Nerds
8: Borat
7: Superbad
6: Spaceballs
5: Zoolander
4: Anchorman
3: Hot Fuzz
2: The Blues Brothers
1: The 40 Year Old Virgin


WAR:
10: Platoon
9: Flags of Our Fathers
8: A Bridge too Far
7: Letters From Iwo Jima
6: Full Metal Jacket
5: The Longest Day
4: Apocalypse Now
3: Guns of the Navarone
2: Bridge on the River Kwai
1: Saving Private Ryan

HORROR
10: The Mist
9: Evil Dead 2
8: Ringu
7: The Exorcist
6: American Werewolf in London
5: The Descent
4: The Thing
3: The Shining
2: Halloween
1: Nightmare on Elm St